Sunday, 27 February 2011

Penny's Profound Pictorials Providing Perfect Prose Perhaps.

'Hi, it's me Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.  I've noted that Gary aka 'klahanie', has put up an anniversary posting celebrating his fourth year of blogging.  Well, lets set the record straight.  I Penny, the dog, with her very own award, have tried to make him a better writer.  It seems he has a ways to go.'

'And here's a photo that's definitely a reflection of my adorable self.'

'Such is the interest in my notable award that humans have been framing my framed award.'

'My friend, you can see photos of me and my award, almost anywhere.  Note the dude's excitement at seeing my award.'

'And, by golly, you can even see me on billboards.  A definite 'traffic stopper'.'

'In fact, I'm a member of the press.  I've been known to hound my leads to get that exclusive poop scoop, I mean scoop.  Yes, I'm a highly respected member of the 'Puppyarazzi'.'

'Yes, I'm very famous or infamous.  It's so nice to feel wanted.'

'Gosh, everyone loves me.  Hey lady, get away from my butt or you might be in for a bit of a surprise!'

'And look at this.  I discovered one of my cat buddies looking through a photo album of my gorgeous self.  Can you see how thrilled our kitty friend is?'

Here's further proof, that I Penny the Jack Russell dog, is indeed an internet star.  A modest internet star, of course.  See how the ginger cat is in paw, I mean, in awe of my fame.'

'And thus, my friend, here I am thinking about what next to 'pawblish' after this posting.  Oh, and look what I see on the computer screen.   Come here little kitty cat....'

'Before I go for my latest nap, I would like to thank my dear human friend in New Zealand for sending me over the 'proof' that my well deserved fame has brought joy all over the world.  Thus, I Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, thank you, Wendy '

'My friend, pawesome and pawsitive wishes, your way, Penny :-)'

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Ride A Cock Horse.

Greetings.  In my previous posting I announced that is was the four year anniversary of the birth of my blog.  To celebrate such a momentous occasion,  I had a contest that would include a suitably English prize for the winner.  The winner would be the first person who could answer this question : "I have lived in a place that is mentioned in a nursery rhyme.  The first person to correctly identify the nursery rhyme I am referring too, will win that suitably English prize."
I think it's been established that I didn't live in a shoe, a clock, a hill with neighbours named Jack and Jill, or lived on a wall with some dude named Humpty Dumpty.   I can also tell you I have never met Old Mother Goose,  Old Mother Hubbard, Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater, Little Boy Blue, Jack Be Nimble, Little Jack Horner, Old King Cole, Little Miss Muffet or Wee Willie Winkie.  No, in fact, 'Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary'.

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
She shall have music wherever she goes

So, there you go.  The answer is that I lived in Banbury, Oxfordshire, England, when I was eight years old.  I didn't live there that long, but I recall one memorable time.  It was the day of the 'egg and spoon' race at school.  The bigger, older chap on the same team as me, who was waiting for his turn, tapped me on the shoulder and said, 'you'd better win the race or I shall slap you!'  Charming.  Anyway, I won the egg and spoon race and my claim to fame is that I have, right up to this day, never lost an egg and spoon race.  I knew you would be impressed.  Actually and not one to self-promote, here is a posting about this awesome sport, Ever Watched An 'Egg And Spoon' Race?
And I know you might come up with some ridiculous innuendo for the poem.  Something like, 'ride a horse cock'.  

Anyway, before I forget what I'm doing and you get so bloody bored you move on to one of those really interesting, must-read blogs, I think it's time to announce the winner who was the first to correctly identify the nursery rhyme that mentioned the place I lived in.  Thus congratulations to the winner, the blogger at Raining Acorns  which is a cleverly written and varied blog.  Well worth a read, if you have not already done so.  
Very well done.  Below are the prizes.   I decided to send two.

The above is a book of some of the nearby villages, just a few miles from my home.  The Peak District is a national park.

And here is a book of the town I live in, Leek, Staffordshire, England.  I would like to add this is indeed a book of old photographs and the clothing styles have changed.  I would like to further add that I moved to Leek because I always wanted to live in a town named after an onion.

And in conclusion, I wish to thank you for your participation and your very kind, thoughtful congratulations as I reached a milestone in my blogging career.  With respect and kindness, Gary.

Monday, 21 February 2011

Now Four A Contest.

Today, February 21, 2011, marks the four year anniversary of my blog.  The following is the first ever blog I wrote, fours years ago, to the day.

Challenging The 'Inner Critic'.  

"Greetings friend,
This is my first blog. This is another positive step forward in getting on with my life. I challenge my 'inner critic.' The 'master' that dictated that I had no self-worth. The master who told me not to impose myself on society. Now I question this negative authority. I have given myself permission to be positive. I shall no longer be a recluse. The world has so much to offer.
Have you ever woken up from a dream and didn't like the way it ended? Did you ever try to go back to sleep and change the ending? Many a time, my life felt like dreams with sad conclusions. The more positive me visualises a better ending to my dreams. I focus in my mind on just how good life can be. We all have the right to a happy ending. Our dreams, our goals, our aspirations are valid. Our spirit and our empathy will encourage us to make our positive plans an exciting reality.
In my postings I shall endeavour to be transparent. I will verbalise my thoughts in an open and honest manner. I must be true to myself and I must be true to you.
I look forward, with positive anticipation, the sincere interaction that we will share. When we help each other, we help ourselves.
I thank you for your time. Warm regards klahanie."

I believe that I have maintained my ethos.  My blog has, and always will be, open, honest and transparent.  I want to clearly demonstrate that my mental health issues are only a small part of who I am.

Today, coincidentally, is the birthday of my well known Vancouver playwright, brother, Andrew Templeton. Happy birthday Andrew and here is a link relating to my brother, Andrew Templeton .

Now then, this being my fourth blogging anniversary, I've decided to have a contest, an idea inspired by a recent contest on my dear New Zealand friend's site W.M. Morrell's Musings From Down Under.  So, thanks to you Wendy.
This contest will have a suitably English prize to be posted to the winner.  And no, the prize will have nothing to do with 'toad-in-the-hole', 'bubble and squeak', or even 'spotted dick'.  I was thinking of including an autographed photo of myself, but I don't think the winner would believe their luck...
So, the first person to correctly answer the following question will win an English prize.  The winner and the prize will be announced in my next posting.  All I ask is that anyone who enters this contest is a 'follower' of this blog.

Thus, here is the question :  I have lived in a place that is mentioned in a nursery rhyme.  The first person to correctly identify the nursery rhyme I am referring too, will win that suitably English prize.

Anybody seen this dog?  Penny the outlaw dawg aka 'Penny the Sundawg Kid'.  Thanks Wendy for this photo.  Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, was most amused! 'Arf, arf..' :-)

Saturday, 19 February 2011

The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award. Revisited.

'Hi there, yes it's me Penny, the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.  About four months ago, Gary at the suggestion of this delightful, pictorial, interactive site, Along Life's Highway The Yard Art Game , created the above award, 'The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award',  in my honour.
This award goes to those who clearly demonstrate their love and respect for the precious creatures of our fragile planet.  I'm truly grateful to them for understanding, that we, your friends in the animal world, give you unconditional, non-judgemental love
I will now pass on this award to five worthy recipients  Now, the five recipients can do as they wish with this award.  They can forward it on, or just proudly display the award on their site.  I leave it up to the discretion of the recipient.  If you do choose to pass it on, it doesn't have to be forwarded to someone who has a dog.  No, if you know of a blog, for instance, that has a great love of garden slugs, hey, that's great!   If you visit a blog that thrills you with their affection for wolves or hyenas, I say, fantastic!   Here's a Penny joke, If you crossed a wolf with a hyena, would it howl with laughter?   If you know of a blogger who just adores cats....well...ummm.....okay.  
And with that, I shall now paw open the envelope and announce the following five most notable recipients of Penny, the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star's 'The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award'.'

1:  W. M. Morrell's Musings From Down Under. Wendy has great love and respect for us, your friends, the vulnerable creatures on this delicate planet.  A delicate planet that we must all learn to share in peaceful harmony.  I, Penny, would just like to say a big English 'Arf, arf!' to her three gorgeous dogs, Coco, Cabana and Oblio :-)
2:   CindyLu'sMuse   A wonderful, thoughtful site that is well worth a visit.  There you will discover, "A collection of information, humor, and daily finds about pets."
3:   BROWNDOGCBR   Follow the ongoing adventures of a brown dog better known as Hawk or Hawkeye at this most delightful site.
4:   Adventures of a Cattle Dog    "The adventures of Riley, an Australian Cattle Dog and therapy dog with hip dysplasia."  The inspiring stories of Riley, who lives in Virginia, are well worth reading.
5:   Inside the chicken coop   Diane, at this lovely site features the adventures of her chickens.  In fact, Diane has written a published book titled, "One Hundred Ways For A Chicken To Train Its Human."

'So there you go.  I shall now send out this award, to spread peace, joy and happiness, wherever it shall land.
To the recipients and the further recipients, I say well done and thank you for loving us gentle creatures in the animal world.  My friends, human or otherwise, I send you pawsitive wishes and doggy kisses.  Love Penny xx'

Thursday, 17 February 2011

Accents And Idioms.

No, not that type of accent.  Although, maybe the above product might have altered my accent.
As a dude with a Canadian accent, living in England, I get the following question on a regular basis.  Doesn't matter if I'm draped in the Canadian flag, wear a Vancouver 'Canucks' baseball cap, or ride around on a polar bear.  Yes, I often get asked this, 'what part of America are you from?'  Now this makes for a fun conversation and invariably I will ask the person with the English accent, 'what part of Scotland are you from?'  One day, knowing my luck, someone will reply 'Glasgow'.
So with that, I try to explain the differences.  I keep it nice and simple.  'In Canada, we say 'eh' a lot eh.  I think we have a mellower accent than the Americans.  Let me give you an example of a Canadian speaking.  'How's it goin' eh!?'   Whilst an American, in a New York accent, might say, 'eh how ya doin'!?'  'Okay, I get it.  Let me try doing your Canadian accent', says the English chap, 'hey, how y'all doin' good buddy!?'  Thus, much to my bewilderment, the English chap does my accent, sounding like some dude from a trailer park in Alabama.
Occasionally, someone will ask me, 'where does your accent come from?'  To which I reply, 'well it starts in the bottom of my throat and comes out of my mouth.'   I will attempt to do a local accent.  I will admit I'm not very good at it.  However, compared to Dick Van Dyke in 'Mary Poppins',  I almost do a decent job. 'Nuff said, guv'ner?'  
Now then, lets clear up some other accents that people get confused by.  Australia, you know, 'the land down under'.   Whenever I think of Australia the name Alice Springs to mind, I wonder where was Melbourne and no more city jokes because that's all you Canberra.  Anyway, Australian accents are confused with New Zealand accents.  Well, there is a difference between the two accents.  Apparently you can try the 'fish and chips test' to determine who is indeed Australian or from New Zealand.  An Australian eats 'feesh and cheeps', whilst someone from New Zealand prefers 'fush and chups'.  Can anyone from Australia or New Zealand confirm this is true?   Oh, 'g'day', Australia.  'Gidday', New Zealand.......
So I shall attempt to summarise.  I would not go to Montreal and ask a French Canadian what part of  France they are from.  I would not go to France and ask a French person what part of Quebec they're from.  I would not go to Holland and ask a person what part of South Africa they're from.  I would not go to Brazil and ask a Brazilian what part of Portugal they're from.  And I sure wouldn't go to Argentina and ask an Argentinian what part of Spain they were from.  And, for sure, I wouldn't go to New Zealand and ask a New Zealand person where they came from in Australia.   Heck, I damn well wouldn't go to the States and ask the Alabama dude, living in a trailer park, 'excuse me, what part of Canada are you from?'  Then again, what the hell.
So what the hell am I talking about?  I have no idea.  What I do know is accents fascinate me.  Over here, in Britain, accents can change from street to street.  Never have I experienced such a diversity of accents or expressions.  People where I live say, 'you!?'  Which was rather confusing because I kept wondering why I needed to 'duck'.  Then I realised that 'duck' was a term of endearment.  Nonetheless, a 'fowl' expression.  
I'm now aware that this posting is becoming 'too damn long'.  Which means you might have skipped the above and just started reading right about NOW.  So let me conclude by saying, in my Canadian accent, have a nice day eh....y'all' 

Monday, 14 February 2011

The 'Wee Folks' Valentine's Day.

'Hi, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.  You might be wondering why I'm wearing headphones.  Fair enough, there not exactly fitting over my ears.  However, and luckily, the music is loud enough to block out the inane gibberish that Gary aka klahanie, insists in boring me with.  'Who let the dogs out, woof, woof...woof, woof..!'
Well, it's that time of year again.  Valentine's Day and I know what that means.  Truckloads of post from my admirers will soon be coming through the front door.  I remember last year.  There were so many Valentine's cards that I couldn't get to the front door.  Actually, last year, there were so many Valentine's cards from my adoring fans, that the cards overflowed up through the hallway, into the living room and onto Gary's keyboard.  That was good, because that meant, for a few glorious minutes, Gary couldn't type!
Anyway, my friend, I was out in the garden, yes that garden, the one that Gary calls his 'Oasis in his desert of despair', or something like that.  Oh, please give me a break!  Yuck!   Right, where was I?  Oh yeah, so I was out for a stroll in the garden, early on the morn of St. Valentine's Day.  I heard a rustling sound amongst the withered leaves.   I looked down and there they were, two magical little creatures, known as the 'wee folks'.'

'I like to take my camera along with me on my garden travels. I was delighted that those two, very much in love, wee folks, Fidelina , the beautiful fairy princess and Geoffrey the garden gnome, allowed me to take the above photo.
Can you see the look of love in their eyes?  Can you sense their awe, their appreciation of the snowdrop that has burst forth, amongst the dying leaves of an autumn long forgot?   Yes my friend, the wee folks live in that enchanting world where no judgement is passed.  Where all are different, yet all are equal.   The wee folks believe in a natural balance, to be in harmony with nature.  You are a person of the big world and their message and my message is simple, yet profound.  The wee folks and those of us in the animal world, demonstrate unconditional, unwavering love.  If only mankind would listen.  If only.
Happy Valentine's Day my friend and remember that true love goes beyond the exchanging of  cards.'

Thursday, 10 February 2011

Blog Air.

In theme with my previous posting in regards to specialised airlines, I present to you an airline that exclusively caters to bloggers.  Introducing, 'Blog Air'.

A while back I did a posting titled, Big Blogger , which discussed the concept of bloggers with a diversity of talents, all vying to be the ultimate winner in a 'reality' television show.  This is a concept that really should be put forward to a television network.  So just how would we get the bloggers to such a show?  Of course, we could fly them on Blog Air.

Ah, I can just visualise the scene.  One by one, the bloggers board Blog Air.  'Um, hello flight attendant, there must be a mistake with my seat location!  I have over a thousand 'followers' and I should be in first class and not stuck in economy with all those insignificant bloggers!'  The blogger waiting to board behind the 'popular' blogger, states, 'Oh yeah and just how many of those followers actually read your stuff?  I would rather a small amount of followers that I interacted with, rather than your misleading total.  In fact, I have fifty followers and I certainly don't think that makes you twenty times better than me!'  And thus the festivities of the bloggers on Blog Air, begins in earnest.

I'm on Blog Air and yes, I'm in the economy section.  I listen to the chatter of the bloggers in the seats nearby and up in the first class section.  'You know, my blog is a very important place.  A meeting place where other lesser bloggers can come and note just how wonderful I am!'  And thus, I realised I was listening to the self-obsessed blogger.  'You must read my latest posting that ties in nicely with my other posting about the upcoming posting that tells you about my posting that I posted last month about how great my postings are!'  Hmmm, so that would be the self-promoting blogger.  And then I overhear the 'comedy' blogger who likes to repeat the same jokes over and over and over and....  'Hey, hey, I'm more off-the-wall than Humpty Dumpty!  Fred Flintstone meet Homer Simpson, 'Yabba dabba....Doh!'   'Oh yeah, like you are sooo funny', I think to myself.

So I sit there, quietly listening to the various bloggers, in all their diversity.  I hear the crude one telling how 'fucking awesome they are!'  I listen to the serious ones, the shy ones, the poetic ones, the cynical ones and the ones who do variety.  I hear one blogger describe a situation that could take but a few sentences, yet drags it out for what seems an eternity.  And I realise this is the blogger who writes blogs that are just too damn long.  Which makes me realise, if I don't stop soon, this posting will be skimmed through, or ignored, or a couple of key words picked up on, in order to make a comment.

Yes, I sit here on Blog Air in economy class and I stare out the window.  Thoughts drift into my mind, that we, within the great blogging community, are all different, all equal.  Let us embrace the diversity and truly be here for each other.  I then see this one blogger swaggering down the aisle with a toilet plunger on their head.  'Hey, look at me!  I'm a unicorn!'  So, that would be the surreal blogger.

Saturday, 5 February 2011

Can't Fly With Me?

"AIRLINES could introduce adult-only flights after it was revealed kids are the biggest gripe among passengers. Almost 75% of business-class fliers were annoyed by unruly children and the sound of crying from economy class, a poll found. And 18% of those who had paid full price were annoyed to see economy passengers upgraded for free. Meanwhile, 15% said they wanted more privacy from those in the cheaper seats. Experts have suggested airlines should copy train “quiet zones” by introducing over-18 cabins or banning children altogether." (Source: Daily Mirror, February 2, 2011)
So, what do you reckon?  Would the banning of the little 'angels' be a good idea?  And, if so, why stop there?  I can see endless possibilities that cater to various interest groups.

How about a kids only airline?  Yes indeed, I can see it starting in Britain and thus 'Bratannia Airlines' would pave the way for children only airlines, all over the world.  Bratannia Airlines would fly those adorable angels to kiddies only amusement parks, where the kids could scream, cause havoc, have temper tantrums, fling chocolate ice cream at each other and rub chewing gum on the seats of the roller coaster.

So, is the idea of adult only flights a good idea?   Do you shudder at the very idea of some obnoxious, snotty-nosed brat screaming in your ear, poking you in the ribs and spilling his can of fizzy pop on your best shirt that you had put on especially for Aunt Bessie, who you haven't seen in twenty two years?   Do you grimace in anticipation of one of those cute little kids waking you up, seconds after you finally got to sleep?  In fact, because you cannot concentrate on reading your Harlequin romance, do you suddenly think about a parachute and the exit door?
If this is what you visualise happening on your flight, maybe the idea of an adult only flight seems like a good idea.  That would be until you discover that the adult only flight is full of rowdy pissed up drunks who insist on singing football chants, while doing the naked kinky conga, down the aisle  Then the plane hits some turbulence and the entire naked kinky conga falls onto your lap.  Much to your horror, you are then overcome with the stench of alcohol, poor personal hygiene and the warm sensation of trickling vomit that has left a big yellow stain on the dress you paid a fortune for in a very exclusive shop in a fashionable section of London.
So, in the spirit of flights catering to special interest groups, how about the following suggestions?  Why not flights who specialise in flying those who think they are so much funnier than the rest of us?  So, that would be, 'Virgin on the Ridiculous' Airlines  How about an airline exclusively for folks who piss everyone off?  Thus, that would be, 'Wank Air'.  Or, what about an airline that caters to people who like to go to the same place, over and over again?  That would be, 'Air we go Again' Airlines.  And what about flights for folks who are going bald?  Yes, that would be named, 'Receding Hairlines'.    And yes, what about me coming up with some decent 'jokes'? only flights and restaurants and movie theatres and libraries and yes please, adult only supermarkets.....

Thursday, 3 February 2011

A Life As Good As Mine.

I have had the great honour of receiving the 'Life is good' award by a kind and gentle man, who tells about his life living in the tropical rainforest at the foot of the Malaysian mountain range.  Indeed, he writes wonderful, thoughtful stories, complimented with photographs of inspiration and love.
Now, there are certain requirements in accepting this award
1. Thank and put a link back to the person who so kindly gave this award.
Grandpa at Life on The Farm , I thank you so much for this award.
In fact, Grandpa, you bestowing me with this award was just the tonic I've needed.  A tonic that made me realise, that despite some feelings of overwhelming depression lately, I have much to be grateful for.
2.  Share a few things about yourself.
3.  Pass the award onto some mighty fine bloggers.
4.  Inform these mighty fine bloggers that they have received the award.

Just a look out my kitchen window, as the sun sets on an early February evening, fills me with wonder and makes me realise my life is good.

And late at night, as the moon glows through the kitchen window, I marvel and know my life is good.

And here are just a few more reasons why I think my life is good and thus, I will share them with you.

1.  I have a roof over my head.
2.  I live in a pleasant neighbourhood in a pleasant little English town.
3.  I have a lovely little dog named Penny who provides me with unconditional love.
4.  I have wonderful interaction with the great blogging community.
5.  I have friends and family that love me and I love them.

Yes, my life is good.  I see the pain and the suffering on our fragile planet and wish that all could have a life as good as mine.  I see the lonely homeless man, lying in the alley and wish he could have a life as good as mine.  I see the crying child, the desperately hungry and those who know nothing but war and I wish, yes I wish, they could have a life as good as mine.  If only all man, all creatures great and small, could but have a life as good as mine.

And now, I forward the 'Life is good' award, to the following terrific bloggers.

1. dcrelief  : This wonderful blogger, Dixie, writes stories of wonder, magic and inspiration.  One of my favourite bloggers and I'm very grateful for all her support and encouragement.            
2. Reverie Sanctuary   : Shanaz, at this beautifully written site, with wonderful pictorials, is a superb blogger and a very nice lady.
3.  anybody listening?  :  Yes we are.  'middle child', at this clever and thoughtful blog, is, if you have not already done so, well worth a visit and a good old read.
4.  It's A Lollipop World  :  'LilPixi' writes a great blog with loads of humour and you really should check her out.  Besides, I know she just got the 'LOL' award and thus I wish to keep her busy :-)
5.  Closing Pandora's Box  :  Nas, at this superbly well written and thought provoking blog with excellent prose, is a fantastic new discovery and very much worth a visit.

Thank you and may you have a good day.